Well done Eric, you created clear pictures in my mind. Do you think you could have even more of a range of sentence starters? Adverb and verb starters really add some interest.
I really like your paragraph opening 'He remembers waking up to an empty bed..' The places you can take this writing (and the loneliness you can make your reader feel) is endless. We will work on this when you improve your writing further Eric. Well done!
Mr Felton's class at St Paschal Baylon Catholic Primary School in Childwall Liverpool, created these pieces of work about 'The Piano.' Please leave comments for the authors.Make your comments positive.All comments will be moderated by the shed before they are posted. Do not put any personal details on the blog.