Your word choice and language is improving all the time Oliver. Now it's time to really focus on your sentence structure and punctuation to move your writing on further. Well done!
Amazing writing and so sensitive. You have totally got the mood and therefore the understanding of this piece of film. Take on board Mr Felton's comments and your writing can only get stronger. Well done Oliver.
Mr Felton's class at St Paschal Baylon Catholic Primary School in Childwall Liverpool, created these pieces of work about 'The Piano.' Please leave comments for the authors.Make your comments positive.All comments will be moderated by the shed before they are posted. Do not put any personal details on the blog.