Your show, not tell sentence about his brother's death is absolutely outstanding Leah. It is always better to show the reader (let the reader paint the picture with your word choice) than simply telling the reader what happened. Keep up the good work!
I agree with Mr Felton, the emotion you show at the point of his brother's death is fantastic and very mature.
Well done I will be showing my Y5 class this work!
I think Leah's show not tell was brillent and the rest of it here's some edvice be a athor when your older love jaime
Mr Felton's class at St Paschal Baylon Catholic Primary School in Childwall Liverpool, created these pieces of work about 'The Piano.' Please leave comments for the authors.Make your comments positive.All comments will be moderated by the shed before they are posted. Do not put any personal details on the blog.